Il genitore strategico

genitore strategico

Non mi stancherò mai di ripetere che noi mamme siamo le prime educatrici dei nostri figli. Forse non sempre riusciamo a calarci in questo ruolo, ma gli insegnanti e noi, siamo educatori ed è per questo che gli sforzi dovrebbero essere il più possibile comuni per aiutare i nostri bimbi con bisogni educativi speciali a essere soddisfatti del loro impegno (indipendentemente dal risultato).

Ho già parlato del ruolo del genitore allenatore ed ora è la volta del genitore strategico!

Noi dobbiamo metterci in testa che possiamo essere gli artefici del cambiamento dei nostri figli: il nostro aiuto è fondamentale. Naturalmente parlo sempre dello studio: i nostri figli, sono persone (più o meno grandi) e in quanto tali hanno i loro gusti e le loro idee.

Per quanto riguarda il momento dei compiti, invece, con la nostra supervisione, può diventare un rito piacevole: bisogna cambiare il nostro modo di stimolarli e di comunicare.

Dal dire al fare: i 4 passi

Azione

Di solito chiamiamo i nostri figli innumerevoli volte prima che si decidano ad interrompere quello che stanno facendo per fare i compiti. Una frase come: prendi il diario e leggimi cosa c’è per domani può essere mille volte più efficace perché lo spinge a fare qualcosa di concreto e può funzionare molto meglio rispetto a un vieni e siediti!

Il modo in cui comunichiamo le nostre richieste può davvero fare la differenza!

Vai avanti tu

Di lasciare che il bambino provi da solo, quindi di lasciargli il suo spazio ne ho già parlato QUI, però è importante e preferisco ribadirlo. Soprattutto quando il nostro ragazzo comincia a dare cenni di autonomia, anche solo in una materia, dobbiamo approfittarne subito per fare un passo indietro e spingerlo a fare da solo. Noi lo aiuteremo nel momento in cui si blocca e controlleremo alla fine. Sono soddisfatta nel dire che il mio babybes è arrivato al 80% dell’autonomia. Siamo in terza media: mi fa ben sperare per il futuro!

Dubita

Abbiamo visto, quando si parlava di motivazione, che dire a nostro figlio guarda che sei bravo!, a volte sortisce poco effetto perché lui ha invece la percezione di essere un disastro e le nostre parole non servono. Anche qui il modo in cui comunichiamo può fare la differenza. Potremmo provare con un po’ di scetticismo, molto delicato, ma che stimoli il bambino a cavarsela. Per esempio: mah, mi sembra difficile, non so se riuscirai a farlo in meno di mezz’ora. Attenzione a come esponi i tuoi dubbi: la percezione che tuo figlio deve avere è che tu non dubiti delle sue capacità, ma di altri elementi! Piccole sfide che siano assolutamente alla sua portata ma che lo portino a vedere il compito come un avversario e non come un nemico.

Gratifica

In modo costante e sistematico. Siamo sempre prontissime a punire, ma non altrettanto pronte a premiare. Non solo il bel voto, ma anche la mezz’ora senza alzarsi o il capitolo studiato in un tempo prestabilito. In questo può sicuramente aiutarti la token economy che potrai trovare spiegata in modo pratico in  Te la do io la motivazione.

Dobbiamo ricordarci che, noi per primi, abbiamo imparato usando le nostre capacità. Dobbiamo avere come obiettivo la loro autonomia. Per noi mamma di bimbi bes, l’autonomia è un miraggio che deve trasformarsi in un obiettivo a cui avvicinarsi giorno dopo giorno.

Ti va di condividere con noi le tue strategie? Puoi farlo qui nei commenti o sulla mia pagina Facebook!

Mamme che imparano da altre mamme!

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