L’argomento motivazione è molto vasto e composto da diverse sfaccettature. Ho già parlato di motivazione intrinseca, motivazione estrinseca e dello stile attributivo, ma la materia non è sicuramente esaurita.
Per poter aiutare i nostri ragazzi ad avere una motivazione verso lo studio, bisogna conoscerne le componenti per capire su quali di queste si può agire per spingere i nostri ragazzi a cambiare i loro comportamenti.
Naturalmente, parlo di studenti, dei nostri figli e del loro rapporto con la scuola, quindi quando dico comportamento mi riferisco a quelle azioni che aiutano e sostengono l’apprendimento.
I fattori della motivazione
Le componenti della motivazione sono 3:
- importanza
- fiducia
- disponibilità al cambiamento
Importanza
Parlando di motivazione intrinseca abbiamo già visto non basta sapere che un’azione è sbagliata per smettere di compierla perché non necessariamente valori come l’istruzione e la conoscenza, per noi tanto importanti, siano così importanti anche per i nostri figli! Anzi!
Perché un ragazzo dovrebbe smettere di chattare con gli amici per aprire il libro di storia e studiare qualcosa successo 100 anni fa?
- Perché è importante andare bene a scuola!
- Per avere successo nella vita!
- Per non restare indietro rispetto ai coetanei!
- Perché l’istruzione è importante!
- Perché senza un diploma non si va da nessuna parte!
E se a lui queste ragioni non interessassero? I ragazzi vivono il tempo e vedono il futuro in modo molto più leggero rispetto a noi adulti. Questi sacrosanti motivi sono validi per noi, ma non necessariamente per lui.
Bisogna indagare e capire cos’è che riveste importanza per tuo figlio tanto da spingerlo a migliorare i suoi risultati (quindi smettere di chattare e aprire il libro). Rischiare di cambiare i compagni di classe? Essere preso in giro perché è stato bocciato? Venir considerato un fannullone?
Se riesci a capire cos’è che davvero è importante per tuo figlio, allora puoi far leva su quello!
Fiducia
Altra domanda che devi farti è: ma lui pensa di essere all’altezza? Tuo figlio ha la percezione di potercela fare ad andare bene a scuola? Qual è stata la sua esperienza fin’ora? Non è che non si mette d’impegno perché pensa che tanto non ce la farà mai? Magari non ha fiducia nelle sue capacità intellettive o relazionali! (hai provato il test di attribuzione?)
Se è questo il problema non basta dirgli “ma guarda che sei bravo!” “sei intelligente” perché non ci crederà. Piuttosto bisogna sostenere i suoi punti di forza e riconoscere tutte le sue risorse positive, in modo che sposti l’attenzione da quello che non è capace verso quello che sa di poter fare.
Disponibilità
Ora che abbiamo identificato cos’è importante e che si è in grado di raggiungerlo con le proprie capacità, ci va l’ultimo tassello: l’impegno.
E’ proprio a questo punto che esce la nostra naturale resistenza al cambiamento. Io lo ripeto in quasi tutte le newsletter come un mantra:
per risolvere bisogna fare, fare è cambiare, cambiare è difficile
Tuo figlio in realtà è a un bivio: vorrebbe cambiare i suoi comportamenti (riconosce l’importanza e sa anche di potercela fare), ma dall’altra parte non vuole perché perseverare nelle stesse azioni è più facile. Non lo facciamo tutti?
Qui il tuo ruolo di mamma allenatrice e educatrice diventa cruciale: devi saper spingere la decisione verso il lato giusto facendo leva sulle ragioni che sono importanti per lui e sulle sue capacità.
Non è facile: cambiare è difficile, ma, in questo caso sicuramente ne vale la pena.
Lo so cosa stai pensando: “Va bene Anna, tutto giusto, ma cosa dovrei dirgli allora? o cosa non dirgli?”
Di questo parleremo nella diretta di
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